It is not easy to tell of one's emotional
stability. Here are a few suggestions which may help.
Are they usually well poised? Under sufficient
pressure, almost anyone will become irritable. All of us are
occasionally "out of sorts." But if slight irritations bother them
too much, this is a danger signal of emotional stability problem.
The ability to keep from getting unduly excited,
even in serious situations, is a good sign. The person is not
easily bothered or upset, at this point, is a good marriage bet. Are
they excessively "nervous?" Have they ever had a "nervous
breakdown?" If yes, this will not necessarily unfit them for
marriage. People can recover from this, as from any ailment.
But if the tendency to nervous breakdown remains,
watch out. A history of several nervous breakdowns is a danger
signal which ought to be examined by a competent consultant.
Do they drink excessively? Do you find that at
times they are not able to control their drinking? In recent years,
scientific research has been done on the subject of alcoholism. We
now know that this is a mental illness. No alcoholic is a safe
matrimonial risk until he/she has been completely cured.
Are they chain smokers? This is a less serious form
of the same problem. If chronic, it usually indicates a difficulty
which should be looked into.
Do they strongly desire to dominate
others? Does it annoy them unduly to recognize that they are wrong
sometimes; do they always have to be right? Are they constantly
changing their job, their school, or their friends?
Can they make up their own mind? As children, we
tend to follow rather uncritically the judgments of our parents,
teachers, or the gang we go with. But as we grow up, we should be
able to form our own judgments; to listen to different opinions, and
weigh them intelligently.
As adults, we must continue to depend upon the
judgment of experts in areas which are not our specialties. Yet it
is one thing to depend upon others for our facts. It is another to
accept their opinions in all matters without question.
The expert is often wrong. The person who has the
emotional stability always reserves the right to make his own
judgment. If you follow blindly the judgments of some friend, radio
commentator, church, magazine, newspaper, or political party, it is
a sign of danger.
Why is the ability to make up your own mind
important for success in relationship? In the first place, because
of what it indicates. As we have repeatedly pointed out, marriage
and parenthood are difficult jobs. They require a high degree of
intelligence and understanding for success.
If they depend primarily upon some outside
"authority," they will not be able to make the kind of emotional
stability which are essential if they are to run your household and
bring up your children wisely.
Only those who can assume responsibility for their
own judgments are ready to assume the responsibilities of marriage.
you developed enough to be able to live happily with others?
you be a good influence on your children?
Find Out Who You Really Are Through A Free Personality
Profile At eHarmony
to Marriage and Mental Health page
Return from Emotional
Stability to Christian Dating Advice