Acceptable Sex Standards In Dating?
This whole matter of the acceptable sex standards
which you will expect of each other, is one of the most difficult
problems you will face.
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Statements from a number of college young people
indicate that they prefer to marry virgins, and expect fidelity
after marriage. If these are your acceptable sex standards, what are
your chances of getting what you want?
For most girls who demand strict standards, the
reply must frankly be, not very good. Recent studies reveal that in
certain groups, only one man out of ten is virgin at the time of
marriage. Half of all men commit adultery
after marriage. Women are less lax, and yet far more so than they
You do not, however, usually select your mate from
the "general population." If your selection is from certain groups,
your chances of getting the moral standards you wish will be much
Among high school graduates, the proportion of male
virgins is eight times as great, and among college graduates,
sixteen times as great as among those who have graduated from grade
school only. Among active church members, the proportion of virgins
is appreciably higher than among non-church groups.
Those who regard virginity and fidelity as
important have a good chance of getting it, if they select from the
right groups. Remember that you are dating
a person, not a statistic. The important thing is to decide in
advance what you will each demand, and what you may expect from the
Highly publicized evidence that conventional
acceptable sex standards are widely violated has led some to the
erroneous conclusion that sex standards are on the way out. Such is
far from likely. Women are unquestionably more lax than were their
The behavior of men seems about the same as it
always has been. Adultery
has historically been far more common than most have supposed.
Furthermore, the difference between conventional standards and
actual practice is not peculiar to sex.
Studies indicate that political corruption and even
theft have been and are as widespread as sexual laxity. We do not
therefore suggest that we abandon our standards in these areas.
Yet the person who marries today does have one
problem which is more difficult than it used to be; a greater
confusion in society itself as to what are the acceptable sex
However lenient society demands about sex or how
standards may have become at some point, you need to require certain
standards of your dating partner which are strictly enforced.
Such conduct such as pornagraphy addiction, incest,
exhibitionism, homosexual practices, approaches to young girls and
breaking up the homes of others may bring heavy penalties, and can
wreck any relationships and marriages eventually. Be reasonably sure
on all such points before you become too greatly involved with this
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