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Why You Should Not Mixed Dating and Sex...

A group of young men coming out of a movie house on dating and sex agreed that the lead actress was one of the most luscious creatures in their world.

In discussing some of the implications of her attractions one of them suddenly remarked, "Do you realize that five different men have actually been married to her, and none of them wanted to keep her?"

If sex with the most beautiful was the most important consideration in a relationship, then Hollywood marriages and most dating couples would be outstandingly successful! There is probably more dating and sex appeal there than in anywhere in the world. Yet they are notoriously unstable. Obviously, something more than sex must be added.

Recent studies in psychology have given us a partial answer to this sex and dating puzzle. We have now learned that sex can be continuously satisfying only when and as it involves the response of total personalities to each other.

Men soon get tired of women, however beautiful they may be, unless the relationship is basically personal. Here are some of the places where sex attraction can lead astray. Young men of high ideals may become attracted sexually to certain girls. Such desires may become so strong that they will propose marriage to girls who are quite unsuitable for them, because only so can they satisfy their sex desires without violating their consciences.

Other men, not so high in ideals, become obsessed with a desire for sex relationships with attractive girls whom they cannot "have" outside of marriage.

Both these situations present the real danger that, once the desire has been satisfied either within or outside of marriage, the man loses interest. If you are a girl whom men find unusually attractive, you have a special problem at this point. It will be difficult for both you and them to know whether what they feel toward you is substantial enough to sustain a sound marriage or, because it is primarily physical, will prove to be only a passing fancy.

Your best safeguard is to find out the character traits and integrity of the man. You can tell this in part by what he cares about. If he cares about ideals, if he is concerned with making the world a better place, he may be a good risk.

On the other hand, if he claims to be interested only in you, do not be flattered; be warned. This world of ours is an extremely interesting place. It has also become so dangerous that we had better be interested in making it reasonably safe. The man who claims to be interested only in a girl is either a liar, or so deficient in development that he ought not to marry anybody.

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