Few people claim that we should be truthful all the time. Little lies, told for courtesy's sake or to avoid unnecessary trouble with irrational people are part of the social lubrication which makes our relationships easier.

Yet in our kind of world, life cannot go on without a considerable degree of reliability. We must be able, to a considerable degree, to depend upon the promises and the reliable services of others.

Dating and eventually married life is essentially a sharing, in part, by talking things over. How can we share unless we can be reasonably sure that what we share is real? Clinical experience with personality disorders indicates that frankness and honesty are among the most important elements of any relationship.

Lying and evasiveness indicate personality disturbances. Excessive lying is a confession that you cannot handle the problems which confront you. As you become better acquainted, honesty should become increasingly possible until even "courtesy lying" can largely be dropped.

Life is complicated enough in any case. The less effort we spend in inventing lies of our own, and in checking up on those of others, the easier and richer life will be for us all.

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