Love Facts: 1
Love is not any more
strange and mysterious than many other human experiences. Actually
there does exist a real and growing body of scientific knowledge
Anything is mysterious to those who lack scientific
knowledge about them; the rising and setting of the sun, the
circulation of the blood, or changes in the weather.
But as our knowledge grows, all such experiences
including facts of love become increasingly understandable.
But those who feel most sure of their love are
often the poorest marriage risks. Having a healthy marriage, like
having a healthy body, calls for the best scientific knowledge we
Love Facts: 2
There is not just one, but
there are many forms of love. The man who is not well may use just
one word to describe how he feels.
So it is with love. There are many forms of it.
Those in love may feel quite similar to those whose love is of a
very different type.
Actually, however, one form of love may
be quite unlike another. Some forms of love are essential to
successful marriage, or even to successful living. Other kinds of
love are forms of selfishness.
Sometimes we love people in the same way —even our
own children. We get what we want out of them, often regardless of
their wishes or best interests. Sometimes young people love and want
mainly because they want to get something out of the other, not
because they desire their partners' good.
Yet this selfish kind of love may look and feel
just like any other kind. Not all forms of love are good and sound.
Some forms should be warning signals, rather than bases for
The important question is not, "Do I love him
enough to marry him?" It is rather, do we feel the kind of love
toward each other upon which a marriage can successfully be built?
Love Facts: 3
The richest, deepest, and
most permanent forms of love are those which we build over the
years. So you are in love. You feel a warm, romantic glow toward
each other which you do not feel toward anyone else. Great.
The love which you feel toward each other may be
honest and real. If you marry, it will give you a good start. But
the love which will make your marriage most worthwhile, which will
not only endure but grow through the years, is not this romantic
It is the richer, deeper kind which comes from
having with another who is in a true sense a life partner; one with
whom you have in common the basic purpose of building a family
together; someone who is going your way.
Only such a love can really meet your needs and
weld your relationship together so that it can easily withstand the
storms and stresses which pull against it.
The romantic form of love may only be able to give
you some thrilling experiences for a few weeks, or even a few years.
But only this richer form of love can make the latter part of your
life richer, and in a sense, more romantic than were the first
years. And this love is not anything you can fall into.
It must be built!
But if you already feel some kind of love for each
other. How can you tell what kind it is — whether it is selfish or
unselfish, sound or unsound?
In additional to love facts, some of the other
pages, especially those on character
traits and mental
health, are designed to help you know whether or not you have
what it takes to build a richer and more abiding form of love.