What Happens If You Fall Out Of Love After Marriage?
What if after your marriage you fall out of love
with the other? This is merely a phase of a larger problem.
to Marriage Crisis Page
When Louise found that her husband was not at all
the kind of man she had supposed him to be, but was a professional
gambler and forger, her feelings toward him naturally changed
Therefore she dissolved the marriage. But when
there is no such marriage
crisis resulting from the disclosure of a serious personality
traits defect, suppose that one of you just fall out of love the
other — what then?
Bear in mind, first of all, you don't fall out
of love by chance. People who have loved each other enough to
marry do not suddenly or gradually lose interest unless there is
some very real reason.
In some cases, a couple may lose interest because
it really never existed in any substantial way. Many cases are not
so simple. In some instances the love was once genuine and deep.
The couple have been married for some years, and
there are children to complicate the situation. What then? In such
cases the couple should ask themselves such questions as the
Is the change in our feelings temporary or
permanent? Many couples find that at times, they are not only
uninteresting to each other, but positively repulsive.
If such feelings last longer than usual, or if they
are complicated by some difficulty which makes one or both feel
annoyed and depressed, a person may think that love has gone when
actually it may be as strong as ever.
If, after some time, there seems to be no change
for the better, or matters seem to become worse, it is time for the
second question. What is the basic cause for our change in feeling,
and what should be done about it?
The answer to this question admittedly is not easy.
To find the real answer may require the services of a competent
psychiatrist for some time. Yet many people can come to recognize
some of the possibilities.
The person may have fall out of love because of
some personality difficulty within himself. Internal tensions and
inner conflicts may have left an individual who desires only to be
by himself, incapable of loving anyone until he has learned to be at
peace within himself.
Moral breakdown, or the threat of it, may be the
trouble that cause people to fall out of love. Norman was treasurer
of his company. For a time he was strongly tempted to run off with
His wife was a woman of high ideals. She stood as a
barrier between him and what he wanted to do. As his temptation
became stronger, so grew his need to push her aside. He began by
being excessively critical.
The increase of pressure within himself resulted in
an increased resentment of her, until his former love crescendoed
into almost blind hatred. Like some diseases, his desire finally
reached a crisis when he either had to yield, or to eliminate the
temptation from his life. He decided to remain honest. With this
decision his love for his wife returned, stronger than ever.
Shameful desires and tender feelings of love do not
get along well within the same person. Was the marriage really a
mistake? Some will want to stick it out, for the sake of
appearances, or the children, or in hopes that the situation may
change for the better.
One of the tragedies of our times is the number of
marriages which have been dissolved before they have been given a
real chance. If the marriage was real in the first place, the couple
will have done considerable building through the years.
The construction thus begun should not be scrapped
without very good reason, including the probability that another
attempt may prove far more successful. It may be well to take the
same attitude toward a sick marriage which we would take toward a
sick child; it should be cured if possible.
It may cost hundreds of dollars and months of the
very best expert attention to cure a physical ailment. The cure for
a sick marriage may prove quite as difficult and costly. But
remember, that if it does die, a part of you dies with it.
Return from Fall Out
of Love to Christian Dating Advice