It's Ok To Admit You Need Christian Marriage Counseling...
Do you need christian marriage counseling?
In the matter of physical health we recognize the need for
specialized help when our children fall sick. We do have considerable knowledge
about their bodies and how to care for them.
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By the time they reach adulthood they have a good
basic understanding of the nature of disease, and the principles of
hygiene and sanitation. Yet we all recognize that despite this very
considerable knowledge, most people will, at times, have to call in
Most people do this without shame or embarrassment.
Even physicians call in specialists for their more difficult and
baffling cases. Most relationships, like most bodies, occasionally
become ill and break down at some point. Such illnesses are not
The sick marriage may recover by itself, just as
our fathers often recovered from their sicknesses before they had
doctors. Yet the christian marriage counseling expert is important.
In many instances the patient who has competent help will recover,
when without it he would die!
In other instances the outside specialist can make
the recovery come much quicker, and be more complete. In times past,
many people used to drag around with physical ailments from which
they could be really cured today.
Likewise many marriages,
while not ill to the point of divorce, drag along without that
buoyant happiness and glow which competent help could give and God
One reason for the importance of the outside expert
is his ability to detect difficulties early, so that they can be
corrected before they become serious. Divorce
has many causes, and effective treatment of the tragedy will require
extensive, difficult, and widespread measures.
But it could quickly be reduced, if couples were
willing to seek competent christian marriage counseling before their
marriages were on their deathbeds. Fred was both surprised and hurt
when Louise, whom he wanted to marry, disagreed with him about
He boasted that after they were married, they would
handle all difficulties by themselves. He was not going to have any
third parties meddling in his affairs. Louise agreed that untrained
but emotionally involved "in-laws," and well-meaning friends should
not be resorted to, any more than we would call upon them to
diagnose or treat an illness.
But a refusal to consult an impartial marriage
expert — that was another matter. Suppose they had a child who
became seriously ill; would they insist on taking care of it
themselves? Fred prided himself on his high standards of
responsibility and independence.
But to be independent you need not insist upon
repairing your own car. Responsibility involves the willingness to
use quickly such resources as may be necessary and available to meet
the demands of a situation.
Louise rightly interpreted Fred's attitude as an
evidence of immaturity; an immaturity which made him a questionable
marriage risk. Fortunately through a lecture series and some
counseling appointments, Fred came to recognize the irresponsibility
of his attitude, and grew up at this point.
One of the most encouraging signs in the marriage
situation is the growing willingness of intelligent, well-informed
people to seek help in less serious difficulties.
Securing expert help in consultation is no more a
confession of failure or an admission that the marriage is on the
skids than a physical check-up is evidence that the individual is
about to die.
The willingness to secure competent christian
marriage counseling is a vital part of that determination to succeed
which can be the cornerstone of a successful marriage.
As such, it is one of the character
traits essential to success.
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