Dating are not just meant for singles but even more so for married couples. The following is taken from the Independent, a UK newspaper.
After 11 years of marriage, I recently started dating. My husband and I were still happy together, but our relationship had lost a little of its magic. Two kids, the humdrum predictability of married life, and a double dose of 30-something angst can have that effect. I missed the heady days of dating when we would spend hours in soulful conversation gazing into one another’s eyes – instead of debating our differences and staring at the TV in companionable silence.
I selected my paramour carefully and found the perfect match. He was surprisingly easy to find. Handsome, witty, and a husband and father himself, he understood my need to escape the constraints of family life for occasional carefree dates. I didn’t enlist the help of an online community of married people looking for a lover, but found my date much closer to home. At home, to be precise: I dated my husband. Together we embarked on a six-month dating experiment that was at times ridiculous, often funny, and ultimately responsible for bringing back the magic.
Our dating experiment began when a friend enquired how we were, eliciting a weary monologue about how little time we spent together. As parents to two boys aged three and five, we had perfected a tag-team approach to week-night childcare, earning us two nights ‘off’ from parental responsibilities each week. While this slick domestic balancing act greatly extended our capacity as parents and made us the envy of our friends, it also left us with little time together as a couple.
The small taste of freedom granted to us by virtue of our nights off also made us realise how much parenthood had curtailed our spontaneity. We still had fun, but we missed such simple grown-up pleasures as impromptu walks to catch a spectacular sunset, or popping out for last orders at the pub. Parenthood had made responsible adults of us and, having met in our teens and married at 21 and 22, we weren’t sure what had hit us.
Having children transforms the language and landscape of a relationship, and it’s common for cracks to appear when the bride and groom turn into mum and dad. If it hadn’t been for my friend’s timely question, I might have continued harbouring a silent sense that marriage wasn’t turning out quite as expected. Divorce statistics and a recent spate of celebrity infidelities clearly show where such marital malaise can lead. Instead, thankfully, my friend threw down the gauntlet and dared me to date my husband.
“Six months, six dates, what’s the best that can happen?” she said, scribbling down the address of a website which she promised would provide everything we needed for six amazing dates. Intrigued, I looked it up. The Big Six Great Date Experiment had me at hello, as they say.
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