| January 25, 2006 13:14 - How to choose a real online christian dating service?
Online dating is a huge and very lucrative industry, there are hundreds if not thousands of dating services available online today, and more are added each day. It can be very confusing for any singles venturing online for the first time.
But as a christian single, do you simply subscribe to any dating services who called themselves "christian" or do you investigate further? Do you that many so called christian dating agencies are actually managed by the same companies who are also promoting pornography, gay lifestyle, and the adult entertainment industries through other dating sites they operate?
Going to church does not make someone more chrisitan than someone who does not. Similarly, a christian dating site that simply slaps on a few bible verse here and there should not automatically qualify that site to be putting christian values to practice.
It's time to to put your money where the mouth is, go beyond just looking at the profiles, or their matching system. Take some time to go through their websites and find out who are the people or the company operating these websites, find out also if they have interested in other industries. For example, Bigchurch.com does really look like a proper christian dating site, but it is also owned by FriendFinder Network. This is the same company behind websites like AdultFriendFinder and GayFriendFinder. For the uninformed christian, AdultFriendFiner is one of the world's largest adult and swingers sex personals site.
Every single dollar you spend on FriendFinder Networks' of websites, you are also indirectly supporting the devil. Now that you know this information, you can no longer plead ignorance, go spread the word. For a list of Godly dating sites, go here... (Go to URL)
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January 6, 2006 10:36 - The Truth About Purity Rings
First it was Sex Education then it went on to signatures on Sexual-Abstinence Commitment Cards. The latest trend today are purity rings or chastity rings. According to the many reports I read on Statistics on Abstinence, Teenage Oral Sex, and Sex Lives of Christian Teens and the many teenagers I have counseled and am counseling today, I know purity rings are not going to work, you can wear 10 of them on all your fingers and it still would not work. The only people benefiting from the rings are the ring peddlers.
I am not against the rings, or even merchants selling those rings, but it seems like people who practices no sex before marriage end up engaging in many other types of physical intimacy such as anal sex, oral sex, heavy petting, just plain fornication. Afterall there is no vaginal penetration and according to my dictionary it does mean I have lost my virginity!
Sure abstinence from sex prevents pre-marital pregnancy, AIDS, other forms of sexually transmitted diseases and many other benefits, but what is the spirit behind purity? All the rationalization I am almost hearing from some of you such as this, sex is a physical expression of an emotion and very much a part of a relationship. So long as someone is sure and is willing to take responsibility for his or her own actions and if he feels that he is mature enough to take any consequence, it is his own decision and no one should censure what he choose to do because he is not hurting anyone else.
Wearing a purity ring, is you making a logical decision to preserve your virginity for your marriage, but ask anyone involve in any serious dating relationship today, do they realized how powerful passion can be? And then there is this curiosity factor that kicks in.
Are you struggling in your mind today about sex, is your partner pressuring you to give in to him/her? Are you having doubts in your mind today? Remember in Genesis 3:1, ...Did God really say, You must not eat from any tree in the garden?. The know what happened next.
The only way to stay pure is to do it not just for your marriage but to do it because of Him. And I know no amount of will power, determination and yes even purity ring is going to stop one from going too near to the edge if you do not begin to start by developing a relationship wth the Holy Spirit. The first step, Read and Study the Word of God.
Let's get real and get serious with God starting from this year. Purity Rings is not just a fad, it is just another of the man made "Christian Dating" Rules.
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December 13, 2005 11:51 - Is it OK to be proactive about finding a mate?
Surfing for a Spouse
I'm 30 years old and debating whether to sign up for an online Christian dating service. I hear conflicting advice from other believers about going this route. Some say I shouldn't seek a husband; God will provide a mate in his time. Others encourage me to seek out eligible men to date. What do you think I should do?
It's easy to make the mistake of taking a "super-spiritual" approach to dating, expecting God to play cosmic matchmaker. And while it's crucial that prayer and wisdom guide you, it's equally important to take ownership of the process. Scripture is full of examples of people being proactive about finding mates. And a Christian dating service can be a great help in connecting you with people who share your interests, traits, and deeply held values. Think of it this way: Would it help to be in a room with a dozen other single men who are potential good matches for you? Of course. And that's what an effective online matching service does. I know dozens of happily married people who found each other this way.
If you choose to go this route, here are three things to keep in mind. 1) Don't be tempted to play games by presenting yourself to be different than you are. Be real. 2) Focus on the characteristics you want to find in your date. I've seen too many singles who want so desperately to be dating that they overlook problems in the other person. They sometimes fall for the popular myth, "I'll change him." You won't, so don't try. 3) God reveals his will in a variety of ways and we have to resist the idea that there's a predictable formula to follow that leads to a spouse. One caution: The desire for love is so deep it easily can become an overwhelming goal. Resist the temptation to become consumed with the search for a mate. Discerning God's will in your love life requires a listening spirit and, sometimes, a smart strategy. Prayer, wise counsel, and a spirit of obedience to God's direction are essential. Leslie Parrott, Ed.D. is co-founder (with her husband, Les) of the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Pacific University and the author of several books, including Love Talk (Zondervan). Have a relationship question for Leslie? Check out her website at www.realrelationships.com, e-mail her at tcwedit@christianitytoday.com. Check out who the are the real christian dating services you should support... (Go to URL)
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